If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize