I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
did i walk over a car last night?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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