Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
