Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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