Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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