Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
