Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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