So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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