Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
