Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize