Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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