similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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