Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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