I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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