I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
