I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
