my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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