I hate your face
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
