Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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