I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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