Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
