So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
