I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
