So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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