Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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