Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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