You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just found puke in my bra..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
