Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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