Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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