You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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