He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
