So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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