coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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