just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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