If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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