Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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