so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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