I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
