I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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