Christians are straight up FREAKS
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
