I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
