I am puke
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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