Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize