Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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