Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize