Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my sisters under your porch take her home
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize