Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
