note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
