I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
