I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
