He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
grandma shit on top of the toilet
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
