I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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