It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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