can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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