I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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