The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
