I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
