you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize