Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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