i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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