Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
