somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
