We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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